..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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