What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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