Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
literally had 100 drinks last night.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Randomize
Follow @tfln