Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(323): View more from California

literally had 100 drinks last night.

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(323): literally had 100 drinks last night. http://tfl.nu/jkb6

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(804): View more from Virginia

NEVER shave your cleavage hair.

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(804): NEVER shave your cleavage hair. http://tfl.nu/pogh

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(937): View more from Ohio

Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it

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(937): Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it http://tfl.nu/4nim

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over

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(508): just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over http://tfl.nu/74b2

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie

(420): View more from

your the best winggirl ever

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(610): Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie (420): your the best winggirl ever http://tfl.nu/bhih

Replies (34) Good night (12930) Bad night (879)
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(404): View more from Georgia

Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.

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(404): Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits. http://tfl.nu/2cej

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(416): View more from Toronto

I just googled if crying burns calories

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(416): I just googled if crying burns calories http://tfl.nu/qfsf

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(713): View more from Texas

Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?

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(713): Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me? http://tfl.nu/cdq0

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(856): View more from New Jersey

Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion

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(856): Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion http://tfl.nu/nnpe

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(404): View more from Georgia

This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend

(917): View more from New York City

Yeah but those French chicks did get naked

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(404): This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend (917): Yeah but those French chicks did get naked http://tfl.nu/3ob7

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(702): View more from Nevada

Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.

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(702): Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament. http://tfl.nu/k9l6

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.

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(610): You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow. http://tfl.nu/j615

Replies (4) Good night (961) Bad night (2008)
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(918): View more from Oklahoma

Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.

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(918): Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want. http://tfl.nu/d7n8

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(678): View more from Georgia

I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.

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(678): I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost. http://tfl.nu/2pxc

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night

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(306): I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night http://tfl.nu/ov8q

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