So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize