woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
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My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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