can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize