you guys were way drunker than both of me
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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