why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
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