Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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