When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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