One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize