Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize