The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Your penis caused this!
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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