I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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