dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize