i love accidental penises.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Too much gin, very little bucket
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize