you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I AM VODKA MAN
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize