Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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