Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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