Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize