it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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