Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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