its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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