sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
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just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
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A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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