My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize