I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize