She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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