I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
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