Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I enjoy the company of your penis
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