hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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