...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
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You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
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We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
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