On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I look excited, but its just a facade.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
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