There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize