not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
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Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
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She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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