I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize