so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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