Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
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