I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize