Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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