I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
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i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
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I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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