Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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