The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
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