I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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