i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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