So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
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