I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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