Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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