it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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