Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize