The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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